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Kingdumb Hearts
Kingdumb Hearts was a comedic video series that used in-game cutscenes from Kingdom Hearts. It was entirely dubbed by VampireMeerkat. The series used to be uploaded on the long defunct "ananas" channel in 2006, which was VampireMeerkat's first Youtube account. The channel got deleted during Youtube's early copyright purge and the videos were never reuploaded again. There were 5 episodes, each roughly 10 minutes long. Back then, plans were made to make more. Sound bite from '''episode 3', conversation between Sora and Riku.'' Episodes and the overall story Kingdumb Hearts didn't have much of a script and the lines rarely got a second take. The general plot was about Michael Jackson going around kidnapping Disney characters, and as Sora had obtained his front door key, it was his destiny to find his house and rescue everyone. Sora tries to follow the original game's storyline, but none of the other characters do. Still, he's far from "the straight man" in the series. Some of the dialogue/jokes would be considered offensive in today's age. Homosexuality was a theme that appeared constantly and little thought was put into how to change the existing characters. Having that said, the comedy was typical. The cutscenes were mostly unedited as well, which meant the series had the same slow storytelling as the original game. A few running jokes were Sora being perceived homosexual, characters commenting on how attractive he is, and Riku entering a new scene with "Surf it up, dudes, like totally random!". 'Episode 1' Sora dreams of a voiceless being giving him random gifts, who then taunts him with his supposed romantic interest in Riku. He wakes up discontent and meets up with his two friends, Kairi and Riku. Riku wastes no time to flirt with him, but becomes riled up later that evening when Sora won't compliment his muscles and "funky" hair. The day ends with the two sharing their favourite pastime: stalking/running after Kairi. The redubbed version of the Simple and Clean intro that plays before the video begins confirms this is what they often do. Later, a hooded man shows up in Sora's cave and claims to want to kidnap him, but it's obviously Riku putting on an act. -------- 'Episode 2 (file has gone missing)' Baby Tee Island is being taken over by demonic creatures, but Riku only sees it as another chance to get Sora. Sora gets a giant key in exchange for sacrificing Riku and is then transported to another world. -------- 'Episode 3' Sora wakes up in Transvestite Town, where he meets up with a man who seems a little too into him. Sora angers him with insults and they fight. He faints after barely winning this battle, and the man and his friend take him to their bedroom, where they both proclaim to want to marry him upon his waking. Sora is unable to do much about it, until a Heartless police officer spawns inside and he's able to leave. He then meets the inaudible Donald and Goofy, and Riku shortly after. Riku again tries to swoon Sora, yet refuses to join the team, because Donald and Goofy are "retards" and "he'd rather die". -------- 'Episode 4' Sora, Donald and Goofy head over to Olympus Coliseum Airport and want to go to the next world by plane, but Phil refuses to let a child board by himself and doesn't believe he has money for a ticket anyway. Hades shows up to hand out a free ticket and then riles up Kenny (Cloud) by saying Sora got to fly for free, unlike him. A three-headed dog is then set loose in the airport by Hades, causing all flights to get cancelled, making his efforts pointless. -------- 'Episode 5 (file has gone missing)' Unknown. Quotes Kairi:' (To Sora and Riku) "Hm. Maybe you both should get a life." ------- ''Sora: "Hey Riku, in almost every parody you are gay."'' ''Riku: "Woa dude, that's pretty kinky."'' ''Sora: "But you're not."'' ''Kairi: "He is!"'' ''Riku: "Uhyeah, I'm not - are we going to race now? If I win, I get you, and if I win, you get me."'' ''Sora: "Huehuehue. I don't get it."'' ------- ''Kairi: "I mean.. is being gay that funny?"'' ------- ''Elton John (Squall): (To Yuffie) "Totally damn, Yuffie, sometimes I wish you were a lesbian, then I had this boy all to myself." ------- ''Riku: "Surf it up, dudes, like totally random!"'' ------- ''Sora: "Hey Riku, do you know where Kairi is?"'' ''Riku: "Shut up, dude."'' '''''Sora: ... ''Riku: "Uh, I mean, she's probably already killed, so-uh, we better enjoy ourselves."'' ------- ''Donald: "Quaggquagg,quaggquaggquaaagg!"'' ''Sora: "Shut up, ****!"'' ------- ''Hades: (To Cloud/Kenny) "Hm, it seems even the goat doesn't know how they got a ticket, you know what that means: they're illegal, kill them!"'' Trivia *In 2019 this series was renamed "Cringedumb Hurts", though no new episodes were made or planned. Category:YouTube Category:Kingdom Hearts Category:Series